{"id":26048,"date":"2015-04-27T00:30:15","date_gmt":"2015-04-27T07:30:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dvan.org\/?p=26048"},"modified":"2018-10-14T21:57:59","modified_gmt":"2018-10-15T04:57:59","slug":"meta-eulogy-nguyen-ngoc-loan-by-a-vietnamese-american-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dvan.org\/2015\/04\/meta-eulogy-nguyen-ngoc-loan-by-a-vietnamese-american-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Meta Eulogy: Nguy\u1ec5n Ng\u1ecdc Loan By a Vietnamese American (Part 1)"},"content":{"rendered":"

For the fortieth anniversary of the “Fall of Saigon,” ZM Quynh writes a meta eulogy dedicated to\u00a0Nguy\u1ec5n Ng\u1ecdc Loan. In this two-part series, Quynh raises these critical questions: Have we been denied our heroes? Has our history been fed to us in half-truths, bent to serve an agenda we were too young to understand, and are now too old to remember? Or care?<\/em><\/p>\n

\"MetaEulogy\"<\/a><\/p>\n

You may not recognize him. You\u2019ve mostly seen him from the back, side profile, his arm extended, a pistol in his hand, the bullet floating through the air, the man executed. As April 30th<\/sup> approaches, the anniversary of the \u201cFall of Saigon\u201d will be accompanied by its usual string of images, documentaries, and news commentaries. Somewhere, someone will air it or re-publish \u201cSaigon Execution\u201d and you\u2019ll see it for the umpteenth time in your life. For many of us, this image may be how we are reminded of the Vietnam War every year.<\/p>\n

\"Untitled\"<\/a><\/p>\n

When I started writing this eulogy[1]<\/sup><\/sup><\/em>, I struggled with the title. My first choice was: \u201cNguy\u1ec5n Ng\u1ecdc Loan: Reclamation of a Hero.\u201d But, though he may be your parents\u2019 hero, he\u2019s probably not your <\/em>hero. So I thought maybe I\u2019d go with: \u201cNguy\u1ec5n Ng\u1ecdc Loan \u2013 Why Should I Care?\u201d Does it even matter? Do you have heroes from the war? Were you allowed to? For many of us, our heroes are probably our parents who sacrificed everything to flee Vietnam. For many of our parents, however, General Loan most certainly was considered a \u201chero\u201d or anh h\u00f9ng.<\/p>\n

But when Loan passed away in 1998, most of the eulogies written by the American media failed to recognize this. They were all one-dimensional and unforgiving, recalling the\u00a0image, \u201cSaigon Execution\u201d with minor details of Loan\u2019s life. To date there are no published eulogies by Vietnamese Americans in English. So, though it\u2019s overdue \u2013 let me offer mine:[2]<\/sup><\/sup><\/em><\/p>\n

soft foam slippers for his feet<\/em><\/p>\n

a bowl of rice, steamed, marinated pork ribs<\/em><\/p>\n

clean sheets\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

a bed in a room where the window faces east<\/em><\/p>\n

this is how you welcome a hero<\/em><\/p>\n

his limp is pronounced<\/em><\/p>\n

his smile crooked, generous<\/em><\/p>\n

his hands land firm and gentle<\/em><\/p>\n

on the host\u2019s back<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cremember the time\u2026\u201d he begins<\/em><\/p>\n

the room is transfixed<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

the past is the past<\/em><\/p>\n

dead men tell no tales<\/em><\/p>\n

but he is still alive<\/em><\/p>\n

and until he meets his final day<\/em><\/p>\n

his lips siphon tales<\/em><\/p>\n

not of what was lost<\/em><\/p>\n

but what was gained<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

the birth of a lieutenant\u2019s sixth child<\/em><\/p>\n

the first of his men to own a house<\/em><\/p>\n

his best friend\u2019s new business on Bolsa Ave.<\/em><\/p>\n

the first to line the streets of Little S<\/em>\u00e0<\/em>i G\u00f2n<\/em><\/p>\n

A place to rebuild what was lost<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201ci saw you on tv,\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

says a friend<\/em><\/p>\n

who hasn\u2019t?<\/em><\/p>\n

the image is iconoclastic<\/em><\/p>\n

our hero villainized<\/em><\/p>\n

a generations\u2019 suffering minimized<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

the general shrugs, \u201cthat is all they can understand,\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cbut not all of them,\u201d he says<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cnot their soldiers, their men<\/em><\/p>\n

the pretty face men, the scarred men<\/em><\/p>\n

the ones that lost their friends,<\/em><\/p>\n

they understand.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

It is 1968. It is their T\u1ebft. Not ours. The stars granted us T\u1ebft<\/em> a day in advance.<\/em>\u00a0<\/b><\/span>A sign of auspiciousness, to be sure. I am in S\u00e0i G\u00f2n. My people are poised and ready. My mission is simple. It is a suicide mission. We know this walking in. But I am hellfire bent to see this through. Search, obtain, liquidate all key officials, paralyze South Vi\u1ec7t Nam. We are at the armored corps training compound with South Vietnamese Lieutenant Colonel<\/em> Nguy\u1ec5n Tu\u1ea5n and the members of his family. We will force him to start up the tanks. We will ransack S\u00e0i G\u00f2n.<\/em><\/p>\n

T\u1ebft is the most important celebration in Vietnamese culture. It is the cleansing and summary eviction of all bad spirits from the home, the preparation of special foods, reunions with family members, and communion with ancestors. On the morning of January 31st<\/sup>, T\u1ebft 1968, as reunited families slept, their bellies full and their loved ones nearby, the phases of the infamous \u201cT\u1ebft Offensive\u201d began to unfold as North Vietnam reneged on its long-standing three day cease-fire truce with South Vietnam.<\/p>\n

\"20150404_Donate-Subscribe-diaCRITICS_640x120f\"<\/a><\/p>\n

At about 3 a.m., Brigadier General Nguy\u1ec5n Ng\u1ecdc Loan, the commander of the National Police Force was patrolling the streets of Saigon for North Vi\u1ec7t C\u1ed9ng (VC) communist soldiers. Loan, described by South Vietnam\u2019s former Prime Minister, Nguy\u1ec5n Cao K\u1ef3 as \u201cone of the few completely honest and incorruptible men in Vietnam,\u201d\u00a0suspected an imminent VC attack during T\u1ebft.<\/p>\n

He had informed American officials but they choose to ignore him, in part because he was not very popular \u2013 he had no qualms about voicing his opposition to the controversial Phoenix Program, which utilized, inhumane methods of torture on captured VC. Thus, while Americans and South Vietnamese Army of the Republic of Vietnam (ARVN) soldiers were being released for holiday leave, Loan kept his force at full alert.<\/p>\n

When the VC attacked before dawn, unlike everyone else, Loan was ready to respond. Masked by the firecrackers of T\u1ebft, 4000 VC disguised as ARVN and National Police officers launched their attack on Saigon. Their first target, the National Radio Station, was foiled by\u00a0Loan who, in his usual style, charged head first, leading a platoon of men, into the radio station to reclaim it and prevent VC propaganda broadcasts.\u00a0From that moment on, Loan was in constant motion as he coordinated the defense of the city.<\/p>\n

Integral to the T\u1ebft Offensive was a plan to assassinate \u201cblacklisted\u201d ARVN soldiers, National Police officers, government officials, and<\/em> their families. Captain Nguy\u1ec5n V\u0103n L\u00e9m, code name, B\u1ea3y L\u1ed1p, the commander of a VC death squad and other assassins invaded the homes of targeted individuals all over Saigon. They searched houses, held people hostage, and orchestrated mini public trials where they declared victims to be traitors before summarily executing them.<\/p>\n

B\u1ea3y L\u1ed1p was a part of a full-phased assassination program that was an integral part of VC terrorism campaigns.\u00a0It was reported that this program was responsible for the deaths of 11,200 civilians and the kidnapping of 39,750 others between 1958 and 1966.<\/p>\n

Nguy\u1ec5n Tr\u01b0\u1eddng To\u1ea1i, an ARVN soldier, who had tangled with B\u1ea3y L\u1ed1p and his death squad in a gun battle on January 31st<\/sup>, recalled that at the heaviest moment of fighting, B\u1ea3y L\u1ed1p had used children to shield himself as he escaped. When Loan arrived at the scene, he stared in dismay at the corpses of children lined up on the street.\u00a0This was not the first time that day that Loan had witnessed men, women, children, friends, family, soldiers, and elders slain in the streets.\u00a0Nor was it a solitary experience.<\/p>\n

Former Vietnamese born American spy, Yung Krall, noted in her memoir, A Thousand Tears Falling<\/em>:<\/p>\n

\u201cThe streets were indescribable: dead people were everywhere\u2026the body of a man hung on a branch of a tamarind tree on Cong Ly Street. Gunfire was so close I could hear the whistle of bullets through the air\u2026there used to be a beggar with a horrible looking cast on his leg and his six-year-old daughter, who sometimes had a bandage around her head; when we drove past the spot where they used to sleep, I saw both of their bodies scattered in pieces along the brick wall.\u201d<\/p>\n

South Vietnamese President, General Nguy\u1ec5n V\u0103n Thi\u1ec7u had declared a state of martial law and the entire city was on fire. It was not until later that day that B\u1ea3y L\u1ed1p was finally captured next to a pile of 34 bodies after, as Prime Minister K\u1ef3 recalled in his memoir, B\u1ea3y L\u1ed1p had just decapitated a police sergeant and shot his wife and their six children to death. It has been rumored that the executed officer was one of Loan\u2019s closest friends. Shortly after capture, B\u1ea3y L\u1ed1p was escorted, attired in a checkered shirt, shorts, and flip-flops, to Loan by ARVN. Cue Associated Press (AP) photographer, Eddie Adams, and NBC cameraman, Vo Suu.<\/p>\n

A word before we go further: in the chaos of that day, two noteworthy pictures were taken by AP photographers. The first one shows ARVN soldiers standing near the bodies of a decapitated South Vietnamese commander, his slain wife and six children. Although the commander is not identified in the picture by name, Vietnamese testimonials have linked the image to B\u1ea3y L\u1ed1p\u2019s murder of Colonel Tu\u1ea5n and his family. The other picture shows a shocked ARVN officer carrying the murdered body of his daughter with a caption that refers to the execution of Colonel Tu\u1ea5n and his family.<\/p>\n

\"7044272211_0f3a63bbb8_b\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"ARVNofficer\"<\/a>Both of these are extremely hard to find and yet they are among the few that adequately depict the context of the picture that you have<\/em> seen, the one that you do remember.<\/p>\n

The sun has risen and no one can say that we did not take S\u00e0i G\u00f2n by storm. If they did not know the furor of the National Liberation Front, they know it now. I know that I am being led to my execution. It matters not because my name will live on. I have served Uncle Ho well. I see him coming. Who is he, this man who will make me? The ground swells beneath my feet and I feel the air sway as the pistol is raised to my head. A roar. A breath. My legs give way. This is the making of a martyr.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Adams snapped the shot, his pulse racing all the while. Vo Suu\u2019s camera continued to roll, capturing every second. The bullet left Loan\u2019s pistol, entered B\u1ea3y L\u1ed1p\u2019s head and history was made. Loan continued onward, scrambling to lead the defense of the city. Adams retreated to a dark room. When the picture was processed, Adams let out a cry of excitement. It was the first and last time Adams ever expressed positive feelings about the photo ever again, despite being awarded the Pulitzer Prize for it.<\/p>\n

\"Eddie<\/a><\/p>\n

Within 11 hours, on the evening of February 1st<\/sup>, the footage of the execution\u00a0was broadcasted into American living rooms. The next day, Adams\u2019 picture ran in multiple papers including The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, <\/em>and The<\/em> Washington Post.<\/em><\/p>\n

It is a rainy day in February of 1968 when I am born again. This old world looks so new, so different, and even now the memories are starting to fade. I am overcome with new emotions. I have felt these things before haven\u2019t I? Hunger, longing for my mother. A ceremony is held. I am a month old. My father is proud. A daughter. There are tears in his eyes. \u201cShe will not have to fight any wars. I\u2019ll make sure of it,\u201d he says. He salutes a man by his side. \u201cGeneral Loan,\u201d he says, \u201cYou have saved my life; my wife and I are indebted to you. We have decided to name our daughter, \u201cLoan.\u201d My Godfather smiles crookedly at me. I know this man, don\u2019t I?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

End of Part 1. The following part will be published on Diacritics later this week.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

[1]<\/sup><\/sup>\u00a0This complete essay is heavily footnoted.\u00a0For further information visit zmquynh.com<\/a> or contact the author at zmquynh.lyrics@gmail.com<\/p>\n

[2]<\/sup><\/sup> The poem and story in italics is my fictionalized metaphorical interpretation of the attitudes of some South Vietnamese about Nguy\u1ec5n Ng\u1ecdc Loan based upon research and review of Vietnamese media, Internet blogs, online discussions and chats following Vietnamese blogs and articles, etc. Though these portions are loosely based upon the public figure, Nguy\u1ec5n Ng\u1ecdc Loan, this is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of my imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

–<\/p>\n

Z.M. Qu\u1ef3nh<\/strong> huddles in a room tinged with blue nursing calloused hands worn down from the chronic transcription of restless dreams. past lives have included scattered jaunts through urban minefields with each misstep hinting at a life less easily mapped out by this amateur cartographer. irrationally drawn to moving mountains one stone at a time, qu\u1ef3nh is hell bent on creating a machine to extend weekends one additional day (just one – that\u2019s all she needs!) so she can finish her novel about the aftermath of the Vi\u1ec7t Nam war.<\/p>\n

\n

\u00a0Do you enjoy reading diaCRITICS? Then please\u00a0consider subscribing<\/a>!<\/em><\/p>\n

Please take the time to rate this post (above) and share it (below). Ratings for top posts are listed on the sidebar. Sharing (on email, Facebook, etc.) helps spread the word about diaCRITICS. And join the conversation and leave a comment!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I started writing this eulogy, I struggled with the title. My first choice was: \u201cNguy\u1ec5n Ng\u1ecdc Loan: Reclamation of a Hero.\u201d But, though he may be your parents\u2019 hero, he\u2019s probably not your<\/i> hero. So I thought maybe I\u2019d go with: \u201cNguy\u1ec5n Ng\u1ecdc Loan \u2013 Why Should I Care?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":88911,"featured_media":32483,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_vp_format_video_url":"","_vp_image_focal_point":[]},"categories":[29,92],"tags":[1555,1212,1556,743],"yoast_head":"\nMeta Eulogy: Nguy\u1ec5n Ng\u1ecdc Loan By a Vietnamese American (Part 1) - DVAN<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/dvan.org\/2015\/04\/meta-eulogy-nguyen-ngoc-loan-by-a-vietnamese-american-part-1\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Meta Eulogy: Nguy\u1ec5n Ng\u1ecdc Loan By a Vietnamese American (Part 1) - DVAN\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When I started writing this eulogy, I struggled with the title. 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Her essay \\\"On the Topic of Erasure\\\" was published in the Anthology, \\\"People of Color Destroy Science Fiction.\\\" Her creative non-fiction essay, \\\"Meta Eulogy: Nguy\u1ec5n Ng\u1ecdc Loan By A Vietnamese American,\\\" published at DiaCRITICS, was nominated in 2015 for a Sundress Best of the Net Award for creative non-fiction. Her essay, \\\"Octavia Butler - Master Cultural Translator\\\" was published by Twelfth Planet Press in \\\"Luminescent Threads - Connections to Octavia Butler\\\" and her short story, \u201cDrink Brother for the Pain\u2026\u201d was published in Kweli Journal. Her poem, \\\"When she sings...\\\" debuted on Strange Horizons. She was a finalist for the 2014 Barbara Deming Writing Grant, attended the 2017 Sewanee Writing Conference and is a book reviewer and essayist for diaCRITICS (diacritics.org) on everything ARVN (the Army of the Republic of Vietnam).\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/dvan.org\/author\/zmquynh\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Meta Eulogy: Nguy\u1ec5n Ng\u1ecdc Loan By a Vietnamese American (Part 1) - DVAN","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/dvan.org\/2015\/04\/meta-eulogy-nguyen-ngoc-loan-by-a-vietnamese-american-part-1\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Meta Eulogy: Nguy\u1ec5n Ng\u1ecdc Loan By a Vietnamese American (Part 1) - DVAN","og_description":"When I started writing this eulogy, I struggled with the title. My first choice was: \u201cNguy\u1ec5n Ng\u1ecdc Loan: Reclamation of a Hero.\u201d But, though he may be your parents\u2019 hero, he\u2019s probably not your hero. So I thought maybe I\u2019d go with: \u201cNguy\u1ec5n Ng\u1ecdc Loan \u2013 Why Should I Care?\u201d","og_url":"https:\/\/dvan.org\/2015\/04\/meta-eulogy-nguyen-ngoc-loan-by-a-vietnamese-american-part-1\/","og_site_name":"DVAN","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/DiasporicVietnameseArtistsNetwork\/","article_published_time":"2015-04-27T07:30:15+00:00","article_modified_time":"2018-10-15T04:57:59+00:00","og_image":[{"width":534,"height":461,"url":"https:\/\/dvan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/Nguy\u1ec5n-Ng\u1ecdc-Loan_Phan1.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"Z.M. Qu\u1ef3nh","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@dia_CRITICS","twitter_site":"@dia_CRITICS","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Z.M. 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Her essay \"On the Topic of Erasure\" was published in the Anthology, \"People of Color Destroy Science Fiction.\" Her creative non-fiction essay, \"Meta Eulogy: Nguy\u1ec5n Ng\u1ecdc Loan By A Vietnamese American,\" published at DiaCRITICS, was nominated in 2015 for a Sundress Best of the Net Award for creative non-fiction. Her essay, \"Octavia Butler - Master Cultural Translator\" was published by Twelfth Planet Press in \"Luminescent Threads - Connections to Octavia Butler\" and her short story, \u201cDrink Brother for the Pain\u2026\u201d was published in Kweli Journal. Her poem, \"When she sings...\" debuted on Strange Horizons. 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