Christina Vo’s debut memoir, The Veil Between Two Worlds: A Memoir of Silence, Loss, and Finding Home, is akin to a spiritual awakening after a long slumber, a salve to a throbbing, persistent wound. The book centers around Vo’s mid-life experience and family trauma, expanding and contracting between the past and present, the physical and spiritual, the mental and emotional. It explores questions of How did I get here? Why can’t I let go of these past wounds? What is my purpose in life?
In her twenties, Vo lived in Vietnam, Switzerland, and the UK, and in her thirties, she resided in San Francisco. During both decades, Vo moved quite a bit and admits she has always been a restless soul. Yearning for change, Vo accepts an invitation from a close friend, David, to go to a plant medicine ceremony in Santa Barbara. David had been exploring ayahuasca ceremonies to dive deeper into his past wounds and Vo had wounds to heal too, particularly the disconnect she feels with her family.
In January 2021, Vo proposes a road trip since both she and David are at a crossroads in their lives, weary of their jobs and feeling on the brink of a new awakening. They yearn for change, and off to Santa Barbara the two friends go, leaving San Francisco behind. The ayahuasca ceremony takes place but instead of a spiritual experience on the first night, it feels like a celebratory event, with music, play, and singing. The second night is starkly different; The medicine is stronger, the atmosphere more somber and dark, and the hallucinations vivid. The energy is so intense, Vo curls into a ball and cries out with an overwhelming feeling of separation… but separation from what? The ceremony scratches the surface of why Vo feels empty and lost, and for the first time, she enters a spiritual realm where the veil between two worlds is lifted; the experience reveals the hidden wound of losing her mom to cancer when Vo was a teenager. Floundering with the direction her life is going, Vo embarks on a journey to reconcile her past and find a sense of belonging. After the ayahuasca ceremony in Santa Barbara, David and Vo continue to Ojai, and ultimately land in Santa Fe. Along the way, Vo reminisces on how her past experiences shaped her life, her beliefs, her way of thinking, how she interacts with people around her, and how they will mold her life moving forward.
In The Veil, there is a push and pull between the two poles of solitude and community. Vo’s mother passed from cancer at the age of forty-six when Vo was a young teenager. Vo felt as if this, in some ways, stunted her development, causing her to drift physically and emotionally through her adult life. Although she yearns for community, Vo finds herself pushing people away, further cementing her feelings of loneliness. The author sojourns to different corners of the world which leads her to ayahuasca ceremonies and Akashic Record readings, constantly seeking meaning in her life and a sense of belonging. Each experience brings her closer to a spiritual grounding and awakening.
Vo reflects on her life of failed relationships with emotionally unavailable men, singlehood and childlessness, and growing distance from family. Her mother’s presence becomes strong during this time and Vo strives to understand what is stifling her from living a happy, fulfilling, and rooted life. Memories resurface of what life was like when Vo’s mother was alive and how it changed after her passing. The relationship with her father and sister was distanced as each member dealt with the loss differently; Vo’s father became more emotionally withdrawn and silent while her sister, Marguerite, turned to drugs and alcohol. In between was Vo, who became hyper-focused on the tangible parts of life, obsessing over how her apartment looked, how little joy her job brought, and how the people around her irritated her.
Growing up, Vo never learned much about her mother’s history. The past was left in the past. It wasn’t until Vo planned a death anniversary ceremony that she unearths the meaning behind certain traditions and the significance of paying tribute to deceased loved ones. Following the ceremony, Vo feels a door opening, allowing her to connect with her mother and her roots. Vo recalls how two months before her fortieth birthday, she misses an unusual call from her sister. Marguerite is in a medically-induced coma. Vo flies to Indiana and is surprised to see her father at the hospital. Vo’s father is a man of little words and does not communicate much with his daughters. He behaved similarly when Vo’s mother was dying of cancer. Vo realizes how much she is like her father, finding it easier to not say anything than to express her feelings and verbalize her thoughts. This realization spurs Vo to communicate more with her father and show him love in subtle acts of kindness. At the end of the road trip with David, the author realizes that even though loved ones may leave us prematurely, they still journey with us from another realm in our thoughts and heart. The sweetest discovery is in our spiritual authority, giving ourselves grace and agency to express our desires and claim our place in life.
The memoir is deeply cerebral and enthralling. Vo writes with introspection and keen reflections on her spiritual and emotional journey to find “home” and a sense of self. The Veil Between Two Worlds is a nod to the physical and spiritual realms and how the two tapestries of life, interwoven time and time again, bring us back to “center.” Perhaps at the core of our existence, where silence and loss dwell, we can find peace, happiness, and purpose. Finding “home” is not only about physical space but about circling back to one’s roots to embrace one’s core being.
Vo’s talent to write with a deep sense of self-awareness brings readers in tune with their emotions, thoughts, psyche, and spiritual intelligence. The Veil Between Two Worlds is a journey of love, connection, reflection, and self-discovery. Perhaps when we harness these elements in our life we can illuminate that energy onto others. The author prompts us to see that we are all connected… billions of inner lights strung together to brighten the world in which we live, and when one light extinguishes, we must work harder to keep that brightness glowing. With our spiritual light, we can guide others into their own light of self-love, connection, reflection, and discovery. This memoir is a reminder we are all parts of a whole despite individually navigating our paths to discover our purpose along our divergent and convergent journeys.
The Veil Between Two Worlds: A Memoir of Silence, Loss, and Finding Home
by Christina Vo
She Writes Press, $17.95
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Amy M. Le is a Vietnam War survivor and Congenital Heart Defect (CHD) warrior. She is the award-winning author of the Snow trilogy and is currently working on her phoenix series—three books showcasing the resilience of people who’ve survived deep trauma. Amy is the founder of Quill Hawk Publishing, a woman-owned, Asian American company that helps writers indie publish their books while amplifying diverse voices through storytelling. She co-founded The Heart Community Collection, a resource for the CHD community, and sits on the board of Asian Artists for Mental Illness and Vietnamese Boat People organizations. When she is not writing or volunteering, Amy is experimenting in the kitchen or watching NFL games, Formula 1 races, or UFC bouts.
